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What I am not. Not yet, anyway. June 20, 2009

Posted by Jordan in Music, Thoughts.
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Ok, so, my last post was about what I want. All of that still applies. This post will be about what I am not. At least, not yet. I remain hopeful. If you’re confused – and you probably are – keep reading.

First, before I can really explain, you should watch this video, and then continue reading what’s below it.

Now, you may have indeed watched it, but did you really see it? Did you truly listen to it?

Since you’re all caught up, here’s what I am not.

I am not good enough, pure enough, decent enough, or worthy enough to bear witness to art that is that beautiful.

It’s a bit of a sobering thought, but it’s true. I don’t deserve to get to experience something like that. I don’t really know how (or why) I’ve been deemed lucky enough to get to experience it anyway, and I don’t really know whether my being cognizant of this is a blessing or a curse.

But, as I said above, I remain hopeful. I don’t know what the process is here, or how I’m supposed to reconcile any of this with myself, but I’m trying. I can be better. We all can be.

listen to “Your Hand In Mine” by Explosions In The Sky October 2, 2008

Posted by Jordan in Thoughts.
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Posted on Facebook late last night …

ok, here’s the situation. it’s approximately 11:30 on Wednesday night. i’m off work tomorrow, and I’m also off on Friday. i go back to work on Saturday morning at 9:30. sometime between now and then, i would really love to go on a date. it could even be a blind date, and i don’t think i would be any less enthusiastic. however, such things are usually easier said than done, which is why you’re reading this – if there are any ladies out there who don’t think they would regret too terribly spending an evening with me, let me know. and just in case you’re on the fence, so to speak, i absolutely can not stand it when guys don’t open car and building doors for girls, i like romantic comedies, i love sarah mclachlan, i talk with my mom pretty regularly, i say “ma’am” when talking to anyone’s mom, i don’t have a subscription to maxim or FHM, i don’t watch spike tv, i don’t drink, i don’t smoke (i’m allergic – i couldn’t, even if i wanted to), i love cats, i know who McDreamy and McSteamy are, i think brad pitt is a complete moron for leaving jennifer for angelina, and i even know how to leave the toilet seat down! i was raised mostly by my mom, and i’m to the point now where i think it’s gross when guys leave it up. got most of the bases covered, right? however, just so i don’t sound too conceited, because we know how important first impressions are, i’m not perfect. my friends are tremendously important to me, and i usually end up investing myself too heavily in relationships (all kinds), so some people could make the argument, if they felt the need, that i need to be better at that. there are a lot of evenings when i’m content at the house watching a movie, or at hastings reading, so some people might be inclined to call that boring. since i’m allergic to cigarette smoke, i never go to bars, so some people might say my social life needs work. now, hopefully, if you’ve made it this far, you’re not “some people”, and we can hang out sometime. but, like i said, i’m not perfect, so – fair warning. 😉