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Amy Lee, you own me. January 14, 2010

Posted by Jordan in Music, Thoughts.
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Anywhere“, “Where Will You Go“, and “Hello“, by Evanescence. Those tracks … just amazing. The FIRE that you feel when Amy sings – it’s nearly indescribable! Those songs make me think of rain, night, love letters, flowing long dark hair against fair skin, eyeliner, crying, screaming, love, that girl at the PostSecret event with the shaky voice that didn’t think her secret would make anyone laugh or applaud (check the video here, at the 2:46 mark), those two girls at the Slipknot concert that brought them a painting and a scrapbook and thanked them with tears in their eyes (check it out here, at the 8:56 mark), all-consuming single-minded love, The Crow, staying up all night talking, being young and just not having it all figured out, holding hands at the mall, meeting at a park, hiding out in a bookstore, finding solace only through each other, and everything else pure and wonderful in life.

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Last night was amazing. It was only the beginning, I hope. April 30, 2009

Posted by Jordan in Uncategorized.
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Last night. Wednesday, April 29. Hopefully, the start of something beautiful, uplifting, and pure. I think it was. I really hope so. Here’s what happened.

I was sitting around the house, craving emotion and connection, but I wasn’t sure what I could do, or what I should be doing. I am frustrated nearly every day by my inability, for whatever reason, to do more connecting with people and to serve some sort of purpose in that regard. I’ve realized more and more that I seek that out, and that I need emotion, and I need depth. Last night, I particularly wanted to talk to girls, and just interact, and talk, and laugh, and cry, and hug, and just be there for them.

Anyway, perhaps unsurprisingly, I ended up on the computer, scanning websites and blogs, looking for something. Anything. Some kind of sign. I found my way to PostSecret, which, for the uninformed, is a wonderful place. I started reading stories that users had posted in the forum, about leaving secrets of their own in PostSecret books in bookstores, and even just leaving secrets randomly around their city. I was fascinated by all of it, and ended up taking some inspiration from what I read. I then found myself in my room, furiously writing on small pieces of notebook paper. I wasn’t really sure what I wanted to write when I started, but by the time I was done, I knew. I ended up with a couple of handwritten copies of four brief messages, cut so that each of the four messages was on its own strip of paper. They were as follows.

 

If you’re a guy, please give this to a girl you know.

If you’re a girl, I want you to know something. You’re beautiful, and you matter. Please don’t let yourself think that you don’t. I care about you.

 

If you’re a guy, you should tell a girl you know that she’s beautiful. She doesn’t hear it often enough.

If you’re a girl, please try not to be discouraged too much by the guys who seem to be better at tearing you down than at lifting you up. A guy should think of spending time with you as an amazing privilege. If you don’t know one like that just yet, don’t worry – I can’t wait to meet you.

 

If you’re a guy, please give this to a girl you know.

If you’re a girl, I want you to know that you are beautiful. Please don’t ever think that you are alone, or that there isn’t a guy out there that cares about you. Because I do.

 

If you’re a guy, you should tell a girl you know that she’s beautiful. She doesn’t hear it often enough.

If you’re a girl, please just know that there are guys out there that care. There are those of us out there who, even though we might not even know you yet, are already thinking of ways to make you happy.

 

I signed each of the messages as “Spread Hope Like Fire”.

I got each of the strips of paper folded and then set off in my car, still not entirely sure on where I was going. It was nearly midnight by this point, and I considered where there would still be some cars, and where there would perhaps be some young people. I decided to go to a movie theater that’s fairly close to my house, and scope out the parking lot there. Sure enough, there were still some cars. Not a lot, but there were enough, from people that were there catching the late showing of a movie. I parked at one end of the lot, grabbed the folded-up strips of paper with the messages on them, and started walking. Whenever I passed a car that I caught some kind of vibe from, I placed one of the messages under the driver’s side windshield wiper. After I had distributed all of them, I walked back across the lot to my car, and, before driving away, I looked back to the group of cars. Among others, I could see three cars, all parked next to each other, that each had a message under the windshield wiper. It felt AMAZING. I can’t even describe the energy I had. It felt so good and so right, and even on the brief drive back home, I was already excited at the thought of those people walking out to their cars and seeing the messages waiting for them, with no other explanation. If even one person was able to connect with their message, or gain something from it, no matter how big or small? That would be wonderful.

In a few minutes, I’m going to write perhaps a few more copies of those messages, and try to look inside and find some more that need to be wrote and need to be put out into the world. Then, later tonight, I’m going to head out again, find some more parking lots, and try to get the messages to people that need them.