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Some search terms that have apparently led people to my blog. April 28, 2009

Posted by Jordan in Uncategorized.
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I haven’t really seen people end up at my blog through lots of crazy, absurd searches that have nothing whatsoever to do with anything I write about, but I have seen some pretty funny searches in my stats, a few of which I will list below:

what page in midnight sun do edward and bella go to the resterant – Ah! You came to the right place for that – I’ve got you covered! It’s page 180!

alice cullen hot – Uh, DUH. “Hot” is SUCH an inadequate word for this. Step that up to “jaw-droppingly beautiful” or “hotter than the surface of the sun” or “so gorgeous it makes you want to cry” and THEN we’ll talk. Ashley Greene at least deserves that. Actually, she deserves to get anything she wants, but that’s beside the point.

deathcore hip hop – Not exactly sure what the idea was on this one … perhaps homeboy (or homegirl) couldn’t decide if he/she was feeling some Whitechapel or some Wu-Tang Clan? Some Oceano or some Chamillionaire? Some Despised Icon or some Eric B. & Rakim? Just seeing all those artist names in the same sentences is making my head hurt.

does robert pattinson have an age limit – Ok, this could seriously be interpreted, like, a million different ways. I’m guessing it was either a 14-year-old girl who was unsure with regards to how to investigate the legalities of drugging RPattz with a few of her friends and doing naughty, illegal things to him, or a woman in her 50’s who was trying to make sure that Rob hasn’t come out in an interview and definitively stated that he doesn’t go for mature, more experienced woman.

rpattz kstew appreciation thread – Got you covered on this one, too! The awesome ladies at the Letters To Twilight Forum love discussing Rob and Kristen! Go here!

some people like shit deathcore – Are you sure that you weren’t actually looking for Lambgoat? Absolutely positive you weren’t trying to get here? Because, if ultra-critical hyper-insensitive scene commentary is your bag, than those dudes just might be your soulmates.

does esme cullen smoke cigarettes –  No way! She’s married to a DOCTOR! Not that the Cullens smoking would exactly bear lots of long-term health consequences, but still! Also, a brief note to Elizabeth Reaser, if you’re reading this: I have no idea if you smoke or not, but regardless, don’t give people that search for questions like that any more reason to suspect! Stay away, girl!

quotes life goo goo dolls – I love this search. LOVE it. I don’t even have a more thought-out comment on this one – they’re just fantastic, and I can’t wait to hear their new album!

A Letter To Ashley Greene April 25, 2009

Posted by Jordan in Thoughts, Twilight.
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7 comments

Dear Ashley,

I know it’s been a few hours since we’ve talked (did you go buy that cell phone charger yet so you can call me back?), but in the interim, I decided I’d drop you a few lines this way. Here’s the thing. I was just looking at some pictures of you online, and you, of all the girls in the world, do not need excessive make-up to look good. Make-up, when used in moderation and when used tastefully, is perfectly fine, and I understand why girls do it. When it’s applied right, it can accentuate your natural beauty and help bring out your features that you like or that you’re most comfortable with, and de-emphasize features or angles that you might not like. That’s all fine.

However, when used excessively, I think make-up is actually counterproductive. Granted, it would be phenomenally difficult for you to ever look like anything less than a vibrant, nearly-blinding ray of sunshine, but still. If it’s obvious that the cosmetics have just been caked on, it can end up looking too artificial and it can actually obscure natural beauty instead of draw attention to it. That’s not fine.

Especially not for you, because you, Ashley Greene, are an incredible, gorgeous young woman who does not need make-up to look amazing. I know I’m just one guy, and hey, what could I possibly know, but I think pictures like this one are your best.

 

Waiting with the bed made and your breakfast ready,

Jordan

I stayed up most of last night reading Midnight Sun. Also, I wish extreme discomfort upon whoever leaked it. March 9, 2009

Posted by Jordan in Twilight.
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Why did the evil, moronic, despicable person who saw fit to leak Stephenie Meyer’s half-finished draft of Midnight Sun onto the internet have to be evil, moronic, and despicable enough to leak Stephenie Meyer’s half-finished draft of Midnight Sun onto the internet??

WHY?

I’m sure that I part company with approximately zero fellow Twilighters on this point, so it’s not like I’m expounding upon a revolutionary point of view or anything, BUT STILL. ARGH.

I really sat down with it last night, and it was, unsurprisingly, completely engrossing. I ended up staying up for a good amount of the night reading most of it and will probably finish it later tonight. It was jarring and refreshing to hear Edward’s inner monologue, instead of Bella’s. I also loved how amazed he is when he considers how he could have possibly overlooked her beauty when they first saw each other. Of course, he ultimately does understand what initially caused him to not see her in that way – the overwhelming force of her scent – but, even despite that, he’s still completely unable to view her any differently once he really sees her, and he’s amazed that her scent could be powerful enough to distract him, even for a moment, from looking at her with eyes filled with nothing but fervent love.

I couldn’t help but smile when reading about just how excited Alice was at the notion of being friends with Bella. “Can I talk to Bella now??” made me laugh out loud, and I enjoyed seeing that she, of course, wants Edward to be happy, but that she also simply looks forward to hanging out with Bella and having her as a girlfriend. It was also heart-warming to see Esme’s ecstatic happiness that her son, the one who always seemed to end up alone, might have actually found someone to share his life with. Perhaps understandably, Edward falling for Bella isn’t exactly viewed as great news by most of the Cullens – Jasper is cautious, Rosalie is horrified, Emmett is probably more amused than anything else, Carlisle is happy for Edward but also intensely aware of the dangers posed, and even Alice is a bit worried despite her excitement over the idea – but Esme? She’s thrilled. Absolutely thrilled. She couldn’t be happier.

So, even considering how enjoyable it was to read, and how much I look forward to getting back to it, I remain extremely annoyed that Stephenie’s artistic integrity was attacked, and that her work was shown to the rest of the world in a state much earlier than she wanted the public to see it in. For the record, I don’t generally involve myself in piracy, and I justified reading it only because Stephenie decided to make it available on her website. If she had not, or if she were still working on it, I would stay away. I can’t say that I blame her for suspending the project out of frustration, either, but I do hope that, perhaps in the next couple of years, after she’s gotten a bit of distance and spent some more time with her family, she can continue and finish at least that one book through Edward’s eyes. I like that the idea didn’t start as any sort of a business decision, but merely as one example of how her love for her characters manifests itself – it was simply Stephenie wanting to see how Edward would tell the story and where it would go.

Twi-Stuff Update! February 25, 2009

Posted by Jordan in Twilight.
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6 comments

Got the Alice long sleeve shirt a couple of days ago!

Front Of Shirt

Back Of Shirt

So yeah – super stoked about that! Also, I finally got around to pre-ordering the DVD at the Hot Topic in our mall!

Preorder Stuff

That midnight release party will be CRAZY. Of course, I’m completely excited about it and think it will be awesome. One of my best friends works at our Hot Topic, and he and I laughed about it a lot the other day, because I was saying that I’m gonna stick out like a sore thumb (I’m 6’4″ and about 225) next to everyone else (read: teenage girls) there. Whatever. I don’t even care. I’m also going to wear the Alice shirt, which my friend said I might end up getting beat down for. My mom even made a comment about it – the other day, when we were on the phone, I was telling her about how I needed to go pre-order the DVD, and about the release party Hot Topic is organizing, and she was like “Yeah, you definitely need to – you know you want to be there.” Then I told her that, to my knowledge, they had gotten about 100 pre-orders for it so far, and she said “oh, okay – so when you go reserve yours, it’ll be 100 to 1, girls to guys! Or, I guess I should say girls to guy!” I loved that she was lauging about it too! I can’t wait!

totally ordered this shirt last night. February 19, 2009

Posted by Jordan in Twilight.
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4 comments

http://www.twilightteez.com/alice-fan-club-long-sleeve-men.html

I’ve been meaning to order it for a while – just never got around to it. But it’s on it’s way now! I can’t wait to wear it to New Moon opening night 🙂

Now I just need to get this one:

http://www.cafepress.com/twilightguy.308238945

(and, as far as that second one is concerned, truer words have never been spoken!)