jump to navigation

i just can’t help it. July 26, 2008

Posted by Jordan in Thoughts.
Tags: ,

we can kid ourselves about it quite a bit, but really…..who are we fooling, you know? playing the game where you just kind of shake your head and try to gain some clarity…well, it can be very hard to believe that it’s anything more than a smokescreen. always easier said than done. because, frankly, it’s painful. sweeping things under the rug might seem like a good idea, and in some situations, it’s very justifiable, but i don’t want to be swept. i don’t want to be the victim of a housekeeping project.

what i want is to be there.

right there.

in close proximity.

because, right now, i’m far from it. and i don’t really have any kind of realistic cause to hold the belief that anything will change, but maybe i don’t care. maybe i’m pre-destined to ignore things like that. to struggle with eternal optimism, you could say.

is not wanting progression still an ignorant perspective when you know of nothing you could conceivably move on to that could be better than where you were?

or is that just me going for the gold in keyboard gymnastics?

i really don’t know. but what i do know is that i am just going to have to keep kicking myself for thinking too much, because i’m not ready for progression. not yet. i don’t think i will be ready for some time, because the thoughts and the memories are all i have left, and they’re just too good, too happy, too grab-you-in-a-huge-bear-hug-and-pick-you-up-and-kiss-you-in-midair beautiful to let go of.

“the ten and the two is a lonely sight.”


No comments yet — be the first.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: