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so, here’s me. July 3, 2008

Posted by Jordan in Music, Thoughts.
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sitting here. really, really awesome songs stuck in my head – like, that new John Mayer live album? dude. absolutely superb. “why georgia” is just…yeah. way, WAY good. and the recording itself is a total pleasure to listen to – it’s clear and defined enough that you can catch the subtle things that he changes, but not overly touched up or compressed so that the emotion is gone, because it’s still obvious that it’s live. just the right mix. only two complaints: he should’ve thrown one or two more acoustic songs in, and “say” definitely should have been performed, either acoustic or with the full band, because it’s fantastic and was missed, at least by me. also, seriously, whoever reads this, if you didn’t catch it on TV, please YouTube David Cook’s performance of “The World I Know” by Collective Soul (or just go here, if you’re lazy: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jv8ktz-IbOU) because it’s a great, great performance – i’m no Idol expert or anything, but that’s the best rendition i’ve seen in the past couple of years, no doubt. of course, it doesn’t exactly hurt that that’s an awesome song to begin with.

let’s see, what else?

OH – for real, if you don’t normally listen to them, please check out Sigur Ros, more specifically, the third track from their Untitled album. if you look for it, it will either be tagged as “Untitled 3” or “Samskeyti” – absolutely beautiful. it’s so simple, and yet, you can listen to it eight or ten times in a row, which I’ve done, and it evokes emotion in a different way every time – just stunning. (or, to go to YouTube again, lol, just go here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X6C6YvnlT60)

ok, enough about music, before I just ramble too much

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wanna know what’s really up? the 411? the real reason I felt like writing this?

honestly, I’m not sure. I really, truly don’t know.

I do know, however, that something is going on. I feel like something needs to be dropped, or has to be changed, or needs to be added in…..something. I just…I don’t know.

I’ve just felt…I don’t even want to say “weird”, because that’s such a vague word to use, and it doesn’t even really mean anything. I’m like a TV set that is displaying too much static and needs to have the reception adjusted. That might not be a good way to explain how I feel either, because it implies that there are things in my life that need to be cut out, which isn’t necessarily the case, at least not that I can distinguish.

It’s just confusing, and I’m really not intending to just pay myself on the back, because that might be what this will sound like, but I think that, generally speaking, I do a decent job of knowing who I am, being okay with that, and being smart enough to acknowledge that some things, or some situations, are quite the opposite of “me”. I’m stronger in my Straight Edge commitment than I have ever been, I will hopefully be taking some classes at Tech in the fall, I have a good job, I have been blessed with friends that I care about…and seriously, as irrational as this will probably sound, I can’t help sometimes feeling that none of those things – absolutely none of them – really matter.

I mean, from a realistic perspective, obviously, I know they do, but I just…..ok, if you feel like it, just imagine with me for a minute. Imagine that you’re someone who doesn’t need contact lenses, but you’ve been wearing them anyway, your whole life, so your view of everything is completely distorted, and one day, you finally just take them out and open your eyes…I mean, really open your eyes…for the first time, ever. Wouldn’t that be the most wonderful feeling? Sure, it would be scary and overwhelming, but, again, just imagine! The clarity!

I want that. I want to get to that point. I don’t know exactly what that means, or what I would see when I take the contacts out, or where to start, or how much time to set aside, but I don’t think any of that really matters either. I’m not even sure what I have to do, but I know I need to get started. Soon. If anyone has any ideas, please, let me know.

And if you’re reading this with contacts in, well, I unfortunately can’t speak from experience, yet, but take them out.

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